Secrets and Lies

Secrets
They are like adventures
with the soulmate
Of rings in the air
And choking in them

Why do we like secrets?
Because they fill us with adrenaline rush
Or because they know our dark sides?
Or maybe they just add
Layers to this mundane, mediocre life

Secrets?
Why do we have them?
So that the fear of it spilling engulfs
With you maybe not
With you it's the urge of living that life
Which we started out
And then shy-ed

I will pretend
In the city aspiring to be free
You are the only one
That actually sets me free
Even if it's disguised as words
It just emancipates the soul

Secrets
Between you and me

Dear Ex

Dear X Boyfriend

I have never written a post like this.
But guess its about time I do.

Thank you for making me realize I am enough for me
Thank you for making me appreciate being by myself and not in a lone relationship
Thank you for making me realize that roads can be travelled alone,happily
Thank you for making me strong enough to break out of my fears
Thank you for making me realize travelling can also be empowering
Thank you for making me a stronger person

P.S -
You got a broken me, you mended it so that you could crush it more.
Guess the universe had better plans
I had to see the northern lights
I had to travel the countryside
I had to discover new music
I had to be complete within me
And I had to keep believing in love

I hope you have a fantastic future where you find yourself and face your demons!

No poetry in there

The sky is grey, not the melancholic, rainy grey. Its more like...colourless.

My poetry for pain and separation has lost its way.

They are the same feelings, bordering numbness

Is it because I knew the inevitable and was only hoping for unicorns to save me?

Is it because you never really believed in magic?

Or is because love went on a holiday and never returned?

I am not looking for answers.

I am not looking for hope 

I am not afraid of accepting failure 

I am looking for a new colorscape. 

Somewhere I am looking for the piece of cloth 

That I was making with all words, and colors and threads since I realized 

Mills and Boons are bullshit

But lovestories are not.

Since I felt butterflies in the stomach

And realised its not a myth

From being angry at myself and then at you

I have come a long way.

I have learnt the not so cool art of not baring my soul

I have learnt to look the other way and hide the tears.

And pretend the good feeling of fall 

I am disappointed in me

For making choices and trying to find the romantic story I believe in

I am disappointed in you

For being so a-sensitive (if thats even a word, maybe un-sensitive is) 

I am looking for a way out, and now when I have found one

I am tired to to walk the 17 miles. 

I dont know how you feel.... 

Relieved 

Heartbroken 

Indifferent

And that perhaps is something I can’t pretend to not see 

All I wish(ed) for was to find, curate and put up art together

And maybe make our own.

The failure is, like most things, it remained just another fad that people do.

Learning

Learning from fear
The fear of losing attraction
The fear of losing the chase
Learning from loss
The loss of compassion
The loss of love
Learning from decisions
The decision to move apart
The decision to make new art
Learning from pain
The pain that enables
The pain that progresses
Learning from love
The love that gives strength
The love that needs to be found 

Forgiveness

Woke up being forgiven

But was there a sin?

To have loved differently

To have created new norms 

To have defined intimacy 

Was there a sin 

Behind the closed doors 

Under the open sky

In the web of white lies 

I woke up being forgiven 

To have loved you under dim lights 

To have loved you midst the wild sea

Forgiven 

To have wanted to live free

The Background

The background is most comforting
Its easy to fade into it
The noise drowns
The colours run out
Its easy to slip through the cracks
The texture get old
The cloth gets mould

But the background doesn't feel like
Her old self anymore
Something has changed
She wasn't the same anymore 

Saving the day

Can words kill?
Maybe, maybe not
But they do something...
Leave that mould in heart

I have never had closure
With a lot of people
I have never had closure
With old lovers and friends

The mould in the heart refuses to go
Coz they are looking for closure
But I think the end of life
Is the only closure
One seeks

Everything in between
Is like a one night stand
In a city where no one ever sleeps